Understanding cyberbullying: What is it?

Cyberbullying happens digitally, over email, text messaging apps, and especially social media platforms like Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, Facebook, and YouTube. Studies show that cyberbullying occurs the most on Instagram. 

When it comes to cyberbullying, age is irrelevant. Kids even younger than 12 years old can become victims or bullies. Nearly half of students who belong to the LGBTQ+ community have experienced being cyberbullied.

Cyberbullying comes in different shapes and sizes:

• Spreading rumors online.
• Anonymously posting hateful comments.
• Posting cruel or embarrassing videos that go viral.
• Excluding someone from an online group. 

In the most cruel and frequent cases, cyberbullying is anonymous, where someone creates a fake account or username to harass and bully someone. These cases are tricky because we don’t know the perpetrator. 

Studies show that anonymous cyberbullies are rarely caught, leading them to continue to harass their victims with little to no remorse. Because the bullying happens online, the bully cannot physically see their victims’ reactions or the effect of their harmful messages affect them.

Girls are nearly 1 ½ times more likely to be cyberbullied than boys. Another study of over 50,000 high students found that 20% said they were victims of cyberbullying, and over 21% reported suicidal ideation. Adolescents experiencing cyberbullying are over 38% more likely to report suicidal ideation than those who aren’t cyberbullied.

What if my teen is experiencing cyberbullying?

In some cases, it’s easy to spot if your teen shows you a mean or cruel text, comment, or online post directed towards them. However, not every teen tells their parents if they’re being cyberbullied — in fact, only about 1 in 10 teens do. The others will keep it to themselves. 

If you’re concerned someone is harassing your teen online, watch for these signs:

• Emotional withdrawal: Your teen may become more withdrawn, anxious, or depressed.
• Changes in typical behavior: Watch for sudden changes in your teen’s behavior, like avoiding school or social events, becoming secretive about online activities, etc.
• Physical symptoms: Your teen may experience physical symptoms from being cyberbullied, such as headaches, stomachaches, or trouble sleeping linked to their heightened stress.
• Talking negatively about themselves: Your teen may experience decreased confidence, self-worth, and self-esteem from being a victim.
• Weight changes: Your teen’s weight may change suddenly, especially if someone is bullying them about their weight and physical looks. They may also develop an eating disorder such as distress with binge eating or conversely, bulimia and anorexia. 
• Increased likelihood of suicide attempts/thoughts of suicide: Call the 988 Lifeline for support for people in distress, prevention, and suicide crisis.

Suspect cyberbullying? Take these steps.

Your suspicions are justified, but now what? If cyberbullies have targeted your child, it’s hard to figure out how to help.  Fortunately, there are ways for you to intervene and support your child. 

Start by fostering open communication with your teen about the situation. Reassure them that you’re on their side and that the situation is not their fault. Do what you can to make them feel comfortable, even though the initial and follow-up conversations won't be easy on anyone. Encourage them to screenshot and collect evidence of the cyberbullying and note down dates, times, and descriptions of the incidents. 

Next, report the account that’s the source of the bullying to the relevant social media platform, website, or app, and contact your teen’s school if classmates are involved. If cyberbullying affects your child’s well-being and mental health at school, also communicate with the school’s administration and social worker. Don’t delay this communication because schools have policies to address such behavior and far more resources to provide support.

Once you and your teen have gathered the evidence and reported the account, have your teen block the bully’s account on the relevant social media or messaging platforms. If your teen’s social media accounts aren’t already set to “private,” make that update now.

Report severe cases of cyberbullying involving violent threats or harassment to law enforcement. Contact a lawyer to seek advice on local laws, if necessary. Above all, prioritize your teen’s health and well-being.

Precautions for preventing cyberbullying

While parents can implement strategies to help prevent cyberbullying, the unfortunate reality is that it’s sometimes hard to avoid. The internet is a complex landscape, but equipping your teen with online safety knowledge is crucial for their protection. Educating them on potential risks and responsible online behavior empowers them to confidently navigate the digital world.

One of the main ways you can be proactive is to educate your child about internet safety and social media and wait until they are old enough to create their own account. The recommended age to allow your child to have social media is 13 years old — no younger. Know that allowing your child to have access to social media can negatively affect their mental health. The U.S. Surgeon General recently called on Congress to “take action” and add a warning label on social media platforms. 

Other recommendations include:

• Emphasizing the importance of keeping private information offline, like personal addresses and phone numbers.
• Cautioning your teens about what they post on social media. Digital footprints are everywhere, and whatever you post on social media – good or bad – can be traced back to you. 
• Monitoring your teen’s social media by following them on Instagram or Facebook. You don’t need to be overbearing and comment on everything your teen posts, but it’s smart to see what your child is up to online — and who they’re interacting with. 

Above all, keep an open conversation with your teen about cyberbullying and the importance of treating others respectfully online. Even if your teen thinks their comments are just “joking,” you never know what another person is going through. One comment online might just send them over the edge. When it comes to chatting with your teen about serious issues, continue to check in with them often to establish open communication. Although your teen is getting older and may think they “know everything,” they will still look to you for support.